Years later, when I visit Korea again, I believe I will walk the streets of Seoul, filled with nostalgia, my eyes brimming with tears as I reminisce about the compassion and kindness you have shown me these past 2 months. From exploring Namsan Tower to eating 약돌삼겹살, every single cherished memory will flood back when I return someday. Hopefully, I can visit with my older brother’s son and pass on some of the lessons that I have learned from you.
My whole life, I never knew of any family other than my mom, dad, and brother. They were all I knew, and they were my whole world, and that was that. Whenever I heard of our relatives outside of my life, I was somewhat curious, but they were all outsiders to me nonetheless.
And then 8 weeks ago you entered my life. From the moment I stepped off the plane to the last day as you accompanied me back to the airport, I am forever indebted to you and so grateful for your presence.
The man I met that first day was virtually a stranger to me, and my only connection to him was the supposed fact that he’s my mom’s brother. Of course I was excited, but I wondered how deep a relationship could even develop after 19 years of not knowing him. I look back and laugh about how silly a thought that was. I had no idea that I would have met my newest role model.
You have shown me the world in immeasurable ways that I won’t fully be able to describe, and you have made me a different person with beautifully new perspectives about my culture, history, and my definition of family. So many lessons of necessary pain and growth, thanks to you.
The joy of reconnecting with family in Korea has been amazing, but it also comes with pain. Seeing my grandma in her ill condition broke me into tears. Still, at the same time, her fragile state reminded me that life is finite and to be grateful that I get to spend even a portion of this limited lifetime with an awesome uncle I’ve gotten to know.
First off, thank you for making time for me. I know that may seem simple, but I am thankful that you spent hours driving me to places, talking and dining with me, taking your days off work to spend them with me. You could have easily used your free time for yourself, but you spent it to show me Korea. You spent it to introduce me to family members I never met before and to teach me about the beautiful history of my homeland.
I felt your genuine attention to detail in every conversation we had. You never got tired of my endless string of questions about Korea, and you gave me thoughtful answers every time. I hope this is translated correctly, but you are very book-smart and street-smart. My Korean may not have been perfect in our conversations, but I appreciate that you overlooked that fact and still respected me and my American culture.
I am so grateful that you showed my two friends Atticus and Jacob so much love and care. I have expressed to you before that they are basically my brothers, the only other family I know of in America outside of my household. Seeing my actual uncle treating my brothers with familial affection made me so happy. They are also so thankful that you showed us around and treated us to meals. They say you’re a great guy, and I agree to the fullest extent.
Also, your daughter is amazing, and I am so proud to be her cousin. Thank you so much for introducing me to her because even the short time I’ve gotten to know her has made me realize that traits really do run in the blood. I see so much of myself in her, and I am beyond ecstatic that I get along with her well. I have a good feeling that this is just the beginning of my relationship with my awesome cousin, and it feels like I discovered a long-lost sister. My conversations and chemistry with her have really hit me with the fact: “Wow, I really do have family members.” I know that may sound silly, but I am still shocked that I connected with her so instantly, and again, I’m grateful you provided the time and space for me to learn about her. She is such a thoughtful and kind person, and you’ve done a great job raising her.
Speaking of traits running in the blood, I really appreciate the lecture you gave me about that topic on the car ride back when my mom yelled at me over the phone. I’ve cried in front of you twice now, and you can guess how much I lead my life with an emotional heart haha. I remember your words about how we are similar and stubbornly loving. You mentioned that our family members have high emotional intelligence, and I have come to realize that even throughout our stubbornness, we all share that genetic bond of fiery compassion and the unwilling dedication for those we love. My mom and I always mean the best for our loved ones, but our hearts can get bigger than our minds at times. So even as I was tearing up from her phone call, I took solace in your speech about how we are all so similar. I took comfort in the fact that for the first time, I felt like I really did have more family members. I suddenly felt a lot less lonely.
I’ve thought long and hard about how I could ever repay you for all these amazing experiences. From the time that I’ve gotten to know you, I can boldly assume that material gifts or money aren’t your cup of tea (but I still got you gifts haha). That is why I have written you this letter. Knowledge and reflection are the best way I can express to you my gratitude, and more importantly, I need to translate these new thoughts into action.
I envision a day when my future family in America is huge. My dream is to give my kids a family I never got to grow up with. Gatherings and parties are lively; nieces and nephews running around the yard playing football. We gather around multiple times a year to eat Korean food and share stories and laugh loudly.
But most importantly, they have learned from my brother and me where we come from. Our homeland’s culture, language, and history. I promise to you that they will understand my parents’ sacrifices and the stories of our extended family.
They will easily know what family means to them because their relatives will always be present. But as I watch them from the balcony with a beer in my hand, I will always be thinking about the summer of ‘26, the time I spent with my uncle in Korea.
Thank you for everything; the moments we were lucky enough to share mean the world to me. I love you very much. See you again very soon! (P.S. I created a short film during my time in Korea; a lot of the themes that you've taught me are instilled within the movie! You always told me to go pursue what makes me happy, and as you know, filmmaking is my dream. Give it a watch, and let me know what you think.)
Sincerely, Noah