It was December 2nd, 2018, nearing the end of the morning in the USA on the day of the first night of Hanukkah (an eight day Jewish festival commemorating the rededication of the Second Temple in Jerusalem). Yet, across the world, in Germany, a country six hours ahead of my university, the sky would have been darkening and the first night of the holiday would begin.
Just because you’re abroad doesn’t mean you have to forego celebrating your favorite holidays.
As I sat in my bedroom at school, I got a Facebook message from a friend who was interning abroad in Germany. “Could I ask you a favor? The internet isn’t loading for me, but Messenger is. Can you send me a screenshot of the prayers for the 1st night of Hanukkah?”
Although Hanukkah is one of the less significant holidays in Judaism, it is a holiday where family and friends gather together every night for eight straight nights. I can only imagine how my friend felt, by herself in her apartment across the ocean, without WIFI, on the first night of a Jewish holiday. No one wants to be alone during a holiday—let alone a holiday of deep significance—and no one wants to be without any means of celebrating a holiday they have always celebrated.
Read on to get our best advice to avoid celebrating holidays alone while abroad.
We get it—celebrating family-oriented holidays while traveling abroad can be tough
Everything during your time abroad can have been running smoothly. Your program has been educational, you have managed to pick up a few words of the local language so that buying groceries has become a much easier process, and you have really started to feel like a native of the community you have been living in. You had just started thinking homesickness? Who needs that? I don’t miss my family at all, I’m doing quite fine by myself.
And then a religious holiday comes and before you know it you are in panic mode. You had forgotten that a holiday was happening soon and that yes, it was going to happen even though you were away from home.
Who will you celebrate the holiday with? Where will you go for the holiday? Should you host a celebration at your place? What materials or food do you need to buy? Where do you buy those things?
A whole host of questions hits your mind as you realize you have never had to be in charge of figuring out holiday plans all by yourself before--usually your family does that, and usually, you celebrate the same way each year.
Bring your holiday traditions abroad with you!
Suddenly everything that had been going so great, seems to have flown out the window. You miss home. You miss your family. You miss the religious community you celebrate religious holidays with. You feel lost and alone and like a part of you has been left across the ocean.
Celebrating the holidays are important to you, but it won’t be the same knowing that your family is celebrating without you. No one else traveling with you will understand.
But that doesn’t have to be true--while it won’t be the same as what you are used to, sometimes, changes, including a new experience around celebrating religious holidays, can be eye opening. It is definitely possible to find a community of people abroad wherever you are, who do understand why you feel homesick during a religious holiday.
Use these tips below to get started on finding that community abroad during religious holidays.
12 ways to find holiday magic even when you’re far away from home
1. Be innovative
When my friend spent those months in a very small university town in Germany, she was unable to find any Hanukkah candles or Chanukiahs to light for Hanukkah. Wanting to do something to celebrate, she got creative and drew a Chanukiah on a piece of paper which she could hang on her window. Each night she said the blessings and drew a flame on an additional candle with a yellow highlighter.
Being abroad might mean holiday resources aren't as easily accessible for you as they are at home, but don’t let that get in the way of celebrating a holiday. Think of a way to use simple materials around you to create a unique experience that you are certain to remember for years to come.
2. Keep your traditions alive
Just because you are away from home doesn’t mean that your holiday traditions have to stay at home. Think of the special ways your family or community have celebrated religious holidays over the years, and bring a tradition to share with others at a holiday meal or celebration.
Everyone can bring their own tradition to share with others and together that will provide for a really neat chance to learn about all kinds of practices while simultaneously still celebrating the way you always do. Teach your host family how to sing a song you traditionally sing on the holiday or how to bake a traditional holiday food.
Find others in your new community who share your holiday celebrations.
3. Decorate your home abroad
There is nothing like getting in the spirit of holidays, than by walking into the door of a room decorated for the holiday. Decorations make any place cozier and more home like. If you know that you will be abroad during a religious holiday, maybe bring a small decoration that you always have up for a holiday with you.
If you don’t bring anything from home, you can go to a local art store, grab some paper and have fun making your own homemade holiday decorations to hang up. Or, plan ahead and pick up local holiday decorations during your travels which will make great souvenirs when you get home! You’ll feel more in the holiday mood when you come home each night to a festive place.
4. Bring people together for a religious celebration
At home you probably go to a Seder or other religious holiday that is mainly arranged by your parents or other family members. Being abroad is a great chance to independently plan a religious holiday celebration, choose the guests, and add your own twist to the meal or other means of celebrating. It is a great opportunity to bring together people who do or do not know each other, and to introduce those from other religions to your religion.
5. Make holiday cards or ecards
Although there are many ways to find a community abroad during religious holidays, nothing will ever replace celebrating the holidays with your family. To make sure they know you are thinking of them during the holidays, no matter what the holiday is you can send family members a holiday card or e-card prior to the holiday!
This way, regardless of the time difference, they will get the card before their own celebration starts, and you can still engage with your family during the holiday.
6. Try something new
At home it becomes easy to fall into a rhythm, where you celebrate a holiday the same way each year, or where you always attend the same type of synagogue or church for prayers. Often, this comes without choice as it is where your family decides to go.
However being abroad, you are the one who makes all of your decisions. Maybe celebrate the holiday in a way you never would at home. Maybe try out a church or synagogue that holds different beliefs or practices than the ones you usually follow.
Who knows, by trying something new you might discover something you really like and want to add on to your individual practices later in life.
7. Cook and share a family recipe
A little holiday spirit goes a long way.
Food connects everyone around a holiday—even on the road! Christians abroad, Muslims abroad, and more can all attest to food’s ability to soothe homesickness. If there’s some special food that your family makes for a holiday back home, make it in your abroad location. You will take part in an activity that you do every year for the holiday--still in a kitchen, but this time in a different country.
The smells of a traditional family recipe floating around your kitchen will make you feel right at home, with your relatives, and the taste will bring back lots of holiday memories. Share the recipe with a new friend you made abroad and maybe your recipe will become a standard part of the holiday in another country as well.
8. Go to a celebration in the local community
There is no chance like being abroad to experience firsthand what it is like to celebrate a religious holiday in another country! Take advantage of being immersed in a new culture and instead of celebrating alone, find a celebration at a local place of worship or cultural community. Not only will you meet locals from your religion and form a new community you will also experience directly what it means to observe a religious holiday in another country.
9. Learn a holiday song or prayer in the local language
You've been meaning to learn a few words in the local language...what better opportunity than to learn those words in preparation for a religious holiday? You can have fun readying for a holiday by looking up or asking a local to teach you a prayer or holiday song in the local language, and then next year you can bring the song home to your family and show off those new language skills.
10. Travel to a famous holy site
While being abroad the world is literally your backyard. That means you can choose what the atmosphere is around you for celebrating a religious holiday. Maybe take a step out of your comfort zone, and instead of staying local, travel to a famous holy site, such as an incredible church or synagogue that you have read or heard lots about. How cool would it be to step foot in such a well known place on a holiday?
Learn new ways to celebrate old holidays!
11. Contact your embassy
Embassies often host holiday events for foreigners living in a country. Contacting the embassy might be a good option to find a place to celebrate. If the country you are in does celebrate the holiday, the embassy usually will also have suggestions for how to celebrate the holiday in your abroad country, and can provide travel recommendations for the holidays and knowledge of holiday specials in your area.
12. Celebrate no matter what
A holiday may not be a big deal in the country you are located, but don't let that get you down. If it’s important to you to observe a holiday, than observe it. Think of small ways you can still celebrate the holiday, or connect with other foreigners who are in the same abroad country as you and see if you can celebrate the holiday together.
Being away from home can be difficult at any point in the year, but it is extra difficult during a religious holiday. It is important to find a community abroad who can make you feel as close to home as possible. Although the religious holiday will be different than the way you celebrate or observe it other years, the holiday magic does not have to stop just because you are far away from home.
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Celebrating holidays while abroad should be more fun than stressful
Maybe you’ll find amazing new holidays to start celebrating, too.
When my friend told me that she wanted to go to Berlin for a weekend over Hanukkah, since Berlin has a larger Jewish community than the town she was living in, I set about connecting her to a Jewish organization I knew in Berlin who was hosting a Shabbat/Hanukkah dinner and discussion.
The organization not only gave her a place to celebrate Hanukkah with other Jews, but gave her a place to stay overnight and introduced her to Jews from around the world.
Although she took the chance of going to a place where she knew no one, where the primary language was not her own, and the level of observance may have been different than her observance level back home, she left having met Jews from Greece, Argentina, and Germany.
She never would have met all of those different people in one room celebrating the holiday back in the United States, and this experience could enrich her way of thinking about her religion moving forward.
As we approach holidays like Passover and Easter, if you’re a student traveling abroad, take the chance to think about something you would like to do to make this holiday abroad unique and very different than anything you have experienced before.
Yet, at the same time take a moment to ensure that you bring some of the home holiday happiness into your experience as well. While feeling homesick is totally normal during the holidays, don't let it prevent you from having a once in a lifetime experience.
Next year, the holidays will come around again and you will be home--so make the most of this one abroad while you can.
Read more articles about practicing Jewish faith abroad
This article was written with help from KAHAL Your Jewish Home Abroad, an organization that can help connect you to a Jewish community wherever you are. KAHAL can set you up with a place to go for services or a meal at a family home!
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