The Best Advice for Dealing with Reverse Culture Shock

You’re home after traveling abroad. Welcome back! Time to drive down country roads, sleep in your own bed, and hang out with the family again. Feels great right…or does it?

After a month back home, life is not at ALL what you expected. You try a meal you used to love (mom’s homemade spaghetti and meatballs) and it’s not as good as you remembered. The country home feels too quiet. There’s no cafe to get your daily cappuccino. No one speaks Italian. And, your family never has a meal together.

After sitting together with your host family for dinner, walking the Roman streets, and eating freshly made pasta, you feel disappointed, lonely, and frustrated. Going home was not at all what you expected. And now, all you want is to go back to the place where every day was an adventure.

Though not all cases are so extreme, this is a classic example of reverse culture shock. How do you deal with it? We’ll help you understand more about re-entry shock and learn expert advice on managing it.

What is reverse culture shock?

Feeling awkward and scared about going home? Find out about reverse culture shock and how to deal with it.

We all know culture shock: that jarring encounter with the world abroad. The emotional and psychological difficulties push you out of your comfort zone.

Whether that be learning a new language, going to the grocery store, or interacting with foreign co-workers, you needed to adapt to a completely new lifestyle. Culture shock is a constant encounter with the unknown.

Reverse culture shock, on the other hand, is transitioning back home. It’s driving your car to work everyday when you used to take the metro. It’s when your family and friends expect you to act the way you did before.

It’s sitting at your old bar with your old friends and realizing that you have nothing in common with them anymore. Loved ones may not understand the transformation and changes you are going through and that can leave you feeling isolated.

We all think re-entry will be easy but, unfortunately, the process of re-adapting to your home country is sometimes harder than going abroad in the first place. Most expats are simply not prepared for it.

But, why should “coming home” feel like a shock anyway? It’s simply because you think you are coming home but that idea of “home” no longer exists. Life moved on without you. So the place you are coming to is not home as you knew it.

Culture shock vs. reverse culture shock

According to the U.S. Department of State, over 70% of expats experience reverse culture shock.

Both culture shock and reverse culture shock are emotional and psychological transitions into majorly different human environments. However, the key point that sets them apart is whether the culture is one you are encountering for the first time or not.

Culture shock requires adapting to a NEW environment that you had never engaged with whereas reverse culture shock is reencountering and relearning how your home country operates. This could be everything from hearing a foreign language everywhere to getting used to speaking English again.

Most travelers know culture shock is inevitable. They are usually expecting it. In fact, there are study abroad advisors who train students to deal with culture shock before they leave for their destination. However, reverse culture shock is usually unexpected because travelers never think coming home to be a readjustment experience for them.

As mentioned earlier, when dealing with reverse culture shock, it could be that home does not feel like home anymore. But usually, it’s not your home that’s much different. It’s YOU. With new habits, values, and perspective after life overseas, you changed without even realizing it. Your world could be shaken because all that you knew and expected is gone.

What are reverse culture shock symptoms?

Do these symptoms sound familiar? You’re not alone!

Going through re-entry shock can be nerve racking especially if you are unaware of it.

Sometimes the symptoms are not always obvious. But, reverse culture shock is more than being surprised by the isles of snack food in the grocery store.

Those superficial differences just scratch the surface. The more difficult struggle is the one going on inside of you. Often, it’s a struggle that you can’t express to others.

Common symptoms of reverse culture shock include restlessness, uncertainty, and feeling misunderstood and even rejected by your loved ones. Reverse homesickness could also be one of them, (aka missing your place abroad). Disappointment with the reality of life back home is definitely top on the list. This can lead to negativity towards your home country like materialism and wastefulness, for example.

Maybe your time abroad has made such an impact on your worldview and perspective that it causes an identity crisis. You might be questioning your values, belief systems, and preconceived notions of reality. Some people simply start developing a lack of motivation to work or interest in anything.

And above all, you may feel…alone.

Does reverse culture shock cause depression?

Maybe—it depends on the individual. Though major depressive disorder is unlikely, people can feel depressive symptoms from reverse culture shock. One reason is the contrast from the highly stimulating environment to a “dull” one.

According to Andrew Huberman, a leading neuroscientist, depressive symptoms arise from an imbalance of dopamine in the brain. If too much dopamine is released, we need more to feel good.

Traveling abroad definitely counts as a dopamine rush. So it’s understandable that regular life at home will not be enough for those overstimulated dopamine receptors. The activity of everyday life may feel empty and unsatisfying.

What are reverse culture shock examples?

Unfortunately, it’s common to feel lonely or lost after returning home.

Browse Google and you’ll find countless expat travel blog posts on their experience returning home from abroad. Everyone has their own story. Maybe they're similar to yours. Included below are a few most common reverse culture shock examples:

• Changed relationships: friends married or moved away
• Learning how to take a different transportation system
• Complete routine and lifestyle changes like sitting at an office when you were previously on your feet all day
• No one wants to listen to your travel stories
• Having heated conversations with your relatives because your political view has changed
• Missing feeling special in the foreign country; no longer receiving warm greetings as you walk by
• Having a life-changing experience that no one else around you can relate to
• People expect you to be the same person you were before leaving
• Family and friends think you are bragging all the time because you are always comparing things to life overseas
• Some think you are being ungrateful and pretentious for wanting to go abroad again
• Family and friends don’t understand why you think and feel the way you do

How long does reverse culture shock last?

Honestly, that’s hard to say. It usually depends on the person and how long they lived abroad. If you take a while adjusting to a change of environment in general, then it might take months to recover from reverse culture shock. Experts do claim three to six months is the estimated time it takes to rewire your brain and form a new habit or behavior. In other words, it’s around six months for the “home” culture to feel like normal again.

What are the stages of reverse culture shock?

The process of reverse culture shock is a process of learning who you are and how you fit into your home country again. Similar to culture shock, reverse culture shock goes in stages but it doesn’t work linearly; instead, imagine a W-shaped curve or a roller coaster. You will go up and down through a few steps until finally resettling.

Here are the major phases:

1. Return home

Maybe you’re excited to go home—or maybe you’re dreading it.

These are the last few weeks or days before leaving your host country. You are tying up loose ends and building up your excitement for seeing family and friends. You may be wondering what they’ve been up to. And you start thinking about how good it will feel to be home. You’ll feel excited and maybe a little nervous. You’re probably thinking, “What will life be like now?”

2. Honeymoon

You’re back with your loved ones. The smells and sights of home overwhelms you! Everyone treats you like a celebrity. You’re exchanging stories, sharing photos (maybe even showing a travel slideshow).

You can’t get enough of the warmth and comfort of home, like watching your favorite TV shows, swimming in your favorite water hole, or eating your dad’s (one-of-a-kind) chicken barbeque. The comfort and ease will feel like a breath of fresh air.

This stage lasts anywhere from a few days to a few weeks. Sooner or later the honeymoon stage ends and life starts taking its normal course.

3. Annoyance and Confusion

Reality hits. At this stage, things begin to bother you that you never thought of before. You start comparing everything to your life overseas from the weather to the transportation system. You start hating the traffic, needing to drive the car, the coldness of the people on the street, etc. Because you’ve seen the outside world, you know that things could run much better than they do.

Apart from the way things operate, you may be frustrated socially and end up in heated discussions because of your newfound perspective. On a deeper level, you might be conflicted about your new identity and how to integrate back home. There is tension both externally and internally. Often this phase is coupled with the next phase. Expats usually bounce between the two for a while.

4. Nostalgia and Longing

You may spend hours looking at your favorite photos from your travels.

Now all you want is to hop on the next plane and return to your life abroad. You look through your photos and reminisce on the memories. You miss your foreign friends or host family.

A strong sense of reverse homesickness sinks in. You might start writing poetry. You may even be trying desperately to go abroad ASAP but feel trapped back home.

At this phase, you’re in limbo. The conflict at home leaves you isolated and even depressed. You start to withdraw and lose interest in things you used to love.

5. Reestablishing

Slowly, you begin to reintegrate into society. Whether that be spending more time out of the house, searching for a new job, starting a new relationship, or taking on a new hobby. By now you have already experienced the hardest emotional unrest of reverse culture shock but still feel unsettled. However, you are trying to move on.

6. Acceptance and Resettling

At this phase, you’ve fully integrated to life in your home country. There is a busy routine with work, friends, and family commitments—and your time abroad feels like a distant memory. But you are still different than before you went overseas.

You are a changed person who has successfully found the way to bridge the gap between their new identity and life at home. Without longing or reverse homesickness, you can reflect on how travel abroad made you grow.

9 tips for dealing with reverse culture shock

There are many great ways to deal with culture shock. Find the ones that work best for you!

Now, the answer you’ve been waiting for. How do you deal with reverse culture shock? Well, first off, not all hope is lost! But note that healing takes time. Be patient with yourself and let yourself ride the wave of cultural readaptation. However, you’ll feel much happier sooner by following these nine steps:

1. Acknowledge that you changed and it’s normal

Foreign service officers, army veterans, international aid workers, and any international professional undergo reverse culture shock. So, you are not the first person with this struggle. It’s reported that about 70% suffer from re-entry shock after returning from abroad. So take some time to reflect and embrace the new person you have become.

2. Find resources to help for you embrace reverse culture shock in a healthy way

Consider reading helpful books and essays like The Art of Coming Home by Craig Storti, a Peace Corps volunteer, and Strangers at Home: Essays on the Effects of Living Overseas and Coming “Home” to a Strange Land by Carolyn D. Smith. Reading about others’ experiences may help guide you through your own battle with reverse culture shock.

The US State Department also offers top notch information for those returning from life abroad. Find other resources from fellow expats online from personal blogs or forums found on Expat.com or ExpatExchange. They may have similar experiences that you can connect with.

3. Do the things you loved to do overseas

Did you learn to make pizza with your Italian host family? What about your daily walking or biking habit? Did you pick up salsa dancing? Keep doing whatever lifestyle habit, skill, or hobby that you loved while living abroad. This keeps the memory alive. Not only that, but it will be a part of your new identity as a true international!

4. Keep in touch with your travel group or friends from abroad

Don’t hesitate to stay in touch with the friends you made while traveling.

Skype, FaceTime, WhatsApp, WeChat, Telegram, you name it. Stay connected with the friends you made overseas. Schedule a weekly individual or group call. Not only are you keeping the friendships alive, but you may also be staying on top of your foreign language skill. Maybe you can visit them again one day. Who knows?

5. Find a community that relates to you

Former expats or foreigners understand the struggles and transition you are going through. Reach out. Communities like InterNations are a great place to find like minded people who live abroad and think with a global perspective. If you can’t connect in person, there are also online forums and platforms designed for intercultural exchange of like-minded people with that global perspective.

6. Channel your memories in a positive way

Write a travel blog! Make it into a side hustle if you want. An easy way to get started is on Medium. It doesn’t matter if no one reads it—all that matters is that you get your story out there. Not a writer? Start a YouTube channel or TikTok account. If you want to keep your story more private, write a journal or a memoir. Collect your photos and make that scrapbook. Your grandkids will thank you one day.

7. Help others travel abroad

Get out of the house! Volunteer. Give back to the international community by working with international NGOs or causes in your area. Teach English as a Second Language in your hometown to those who want to learn. It will keep you connected to the international community. Also, share your story at your university or program. Run a booth at a study abroad fair. Maybe even land a job with a study abroad department or travel company.

8. Explore your home country like a tourist

When you travel your home country like a tourist, you see things in a new and exciting way. Maybe hang out with some international students or travelers who are new to your country and show them around. They will help you love being home. If you think about it like discovering a new country, it makes it feel like an adventure again. The ordinary becomes extraordinary.

9. Move on—or travel again

Take time to adjust and find peace. Or get out there and travel some more!

As hard as it is to accept, your time abroad has ended. It’s time to stop living in the past and start living in the moment! Find a new job that fascinates you, move to a new city, reestablish old friendships or make new ones.

Use your experience abroad to land your dream job. Be present to where you are. Make a schedule and push yourself to love what’s in front of you. Then you’ll look back on your life abroad and be grateful for all it has taught you.

That being said, it’s completely possible to go abroad again! For many people who travel abroad, they find that its a lifestyle that suits them better than being at home. If you’re willing and able, why not live a life of travel? Take a gap year, become a digital nomad, or work abroad.

NEXT: How to Talk about Study Abroad in an Interview

Returning home from abroad will be an adjustment

Now take these tips and put them to action! You don’t need to suffer silently or ignore the effects of reverse culture shock—remember that you are NEVER alone. With the 70% of expats who have experienced reverse culture shock, you are bound to find someone to connect with who has had a similar experience. If you tap into the right community and surround yourself with other expats or study abroad alumni, it will be much easier.

Although we have only scratched the surface on how to deal with reverse culture shock, remember that feeling at home in your native country takes time. It’s a roller coaster of ups and downs. Remember to be patient with yourself though the process. Embrace the new person that you’ve become. Create a new adventure as you move on with your life.

And remember, if you have no desire to readjust, you don’t need to! Continue traveling and living abroad. Whether that’s as a digital nomad, business owner, teacher, or foreign employee, expatriate jobs are available for every field! So, if home doesn’t feel like home, just make a new one.

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